Adventures in Prague… well, just one crazy night…

Darling-Girl

So being in Europe and after watching the movie ‘Human Traffic,’ a story about people getting kidnapped from foreign countries and then sold into sex slavery, my cousin and I were certain we (well at least her, for her lack of upper body strength and endurance to run away) would be the next victims to grace the pages of the Times or some Chronicle…

The night we met the ‘Darling Girl,’ in Prague, Czech Republic was the night we thought we would have to either give up our passports and get new bimbo names like ‘Candy’ (sorry for anyone named Candy) or fashion a makeshift dagger out of a shoe and candy cane to kill our captor. Too bad I ate all of our candy.

We met Darling-Girl (We’ll shorten that to just Darling) after getting kicked out of a club for being too drunk. Ha! If you consider taking pictures of random people and falling a couple of times drunk, then sure! She was outside and kept saying ‘darling darling darling’ to us, it was a little weird, but I guess we like characters…after convincing my cousin and her to have a lesbian kiss, she was telling us about a good club we should go to. She started flailing her arm like a lunatic; she was hailing a cab (she said that’s how the Czechs do it). After saying ‘konichiwa’ to us a dozen times and then asking if we were Korean, Darling started arguing with the driver. She tells him to stop, throws some krowns (Czech currency) at him and ushers us out. We asked her what happened, she replied with ‘he wouldn’t play my favorite radio station.’ Oh of course!…I guess music is very important to me too?…

We made it a point to let her know that we had no money at all (We lied, we really just didn’t want to get ripped off or robbed). After getting into another taxi, we were certain we were headed for a wooded area where large burly men would bash us over the heads with clubs (for some reason Flintstones come to mind). We arrive at a bar, just in time, the two boxes of wine we were drinking earlier was beginning to wear off. It was a nice place, looked like a snow lodge or cabin, but there were only about ten people there (maybe because it was 4am?). As we were trying to figure out where we were, we were also trying to hatch our escape. She bought us two drinks and said for us to get the next round. We told her we were going to the bathroom, pounded our drinks in there, came out started dancing near the door and then bolted. As we were running like psychos towards the river (the ONLY landmark we could remember) we hear the last ‘darling darling’ fading away.

Maybe we over reacted a little?

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